Hippocrat Hypocrisy Award, Ed. 2

This week's hypocrisy was a very difficult choice. Here's a rundown of the week's prominent hypocrisies that made it to the finals of the weekly award judgment:

Major League Baseball denies steroid claim: Former A's slugger Jose Canseco and a former FBI agent claim that MLB owners and the MLB front office knew Canseco and others were using steroids. MLB Executive VP of Baseball Operations Sandy Alderson, who was the A's general manager in the 80s and 90s, claimed on "60 Minutes'" to have not known about Canseco (although he did admit to a suspicion) despite the fact that Canseco had admitted openly to then-A's manager Tony LaRussa and the team that he 'got help' with his physical training.

Senator Bill Nelson defends Gonzales vote: In a constituent e-mail to me, Senator Nelson defended his vote in favor of approving Alberto Gonzales' nomination as US Attorney General, saying "I supported his nomination because I believe that deference should be given to the President's selection of executive cabinet members, and that unless there is evidence that one of these nominees is unqualified or unfit to serve, Congress should not oppose these nominees." Apparently, Senator Nelson believes that ignoring the Geneva Conventions against torture is not sufficient evidence of Gonzales' unfitness.

Right-wing blogs cry foul over Gannon/Guckert affair: Of course, we all know Jeff Gannon as the disgraced GOP hack posing as a journalist who attended daily White House press briefings under the "Talon News" banner. We know that he was outed as a fake and then as a male prostitute by the lefty blogs. Now the wingnut blogs are all pissy about the fact that lefty blogs are attacking Gannon's alleged escort activities as being a big part of the whole story.

Well boo-frickety-hoo!

These chumps love nothing more than to level personal attacks against liberals for what occurs in their private lives whether it's true or not. But when one of their own gets cold-busted for engaging in an illicit activity, oh then it's off limits for anyone to talk about it!

This Week's Winner

Yes, these are three excellent candidates, countryman -- rich in hypocrisy and comic value. The panel of judges for the Hippocrat Hypocrisy Award, however, are not influenced by the hilarity of a given candidate's submission. This award is about pure hypocrisy. And who better represents pure hypocrisy then President Bush's new nominee as National Intelligence Director.

That's right, John Negroponte is this week's winner of the Hippocrat Hypocrisy Award! As may or may not be common knowledge, Mr. Negroponte first came to prominence in the Reagan Administration for lying to Congress about death squads in Honduras.

He resurfaced in Junior's administration as ambassador to the UN, where he proceeded to lie to the world about Iraqi WMD.

Finally, he was named ambassador to Iraq last year at the "handover" of power. He made a point of declaring, "But for these policies [in Iraq] to succeed, we will need to proceed with resolve, constancy and unity of purpose."

Despite his love affair with resolution and constancy, Mr. Negroponte has also been quoted as saying, "I want to get out of Baghdad as soon as possible." Really? I hear the weather there is real nice this time of year.

And like all good liars and incompetents in this administration, he gets rewarded with a promotion to a cabinet level position in the administration. Sweet. Yes, countryman, Negroponte's commitment to democratic processes (Honduras, UN, Iraq) cannot be denied. What is clearly a shame, though, and thus this week's Rankest Hypocrisy, is his unwillingness to take credit for the great successes he's achieved. I find it hypocritical that he would fight so vehemently for what he believes, but not stand up to the critics and the allegations made against him. Clearly a man so right can't possibly be that wrong. Could he?

Why doesn't he go on the record about what happened in Honduras and make the case that, despite the carnage, the world is better off? Why cover it up and make like it never happened?

(Psssst. It might be because he's a hypocrite.)

Why not come clean with the UN and admit that, no, Iraq really didn't have WMD but the results justify the whole exercise and isn't the world better off? Why act like he never made the WMD case?

(Psssst. Um, hypocrite.)

Why not admit that Baghdad has become a hell-hole and he just wants to get the hell out of there?

(Come on, he's so obviously a hypocrite.)

Why not admit he really just wants to go off into the private sector and make some dough, or get a cushy gubmint job and set himself up for a big private contractor payoff in a couple of years? Hey, he served his country, he's entitled! What's so wrong with that?

(In case you haven't realized it yet, it's because he's a hypocrite.)

No, that just won't do. It is much better to publicly cover it all up and pretend it never happened (it's not like the SCLM is going to call him on it) than to admit to being a liar, criminal, hack, coward and hypocrite. So, Mr. Negroponte, enjoy your new job and the fame that comes with being this week's winner of the Hippocrat Hypocrisy Award. You deserve it!